One Thing At A Time

If I were better at The Reduction (i.e. Al Gebra), I could describe the curve of the hot new fashion amongst you car-drivers. Let’s just say it’s steep and getting steeper. No more suspense, you short-attention-spanned knuckleheads. What am I on about? Hit-and-Run!
It seems it’s an activity, as old as the chariot, that is currently ‘trending’, and I’ve got an explanation. Since the dawn of the Automobile Age, people have had a few too many before driving. Not often enough, but still often, they could manage to arrive without causing disaster. Why? Because the penalties for drunk-driving are severe enough to make “No, it’s cool, I can drive, it’s not that far” concentrate like mad. (About those penalties, keep this in mind, you’ll need this for later: drunk-driving is punished more severely than hit-and-run).
Well, this old system of concentrating worked for a long time, and the victims of drunk driving accidents over all the years of the Automobile Age probably number in the low millions (I’m telling you, it could have been worse). The problem now is that we have entered into a new age! That’s right, we’re now in the Screen Age.
And here in the Screen Age, having to drive while intoxicated can’t distract us from our screens (and I’m not talking about our windscreens).
So I’ve got my iScreen in my hand while I’m trying real hard not to get busted for drunk-driving, and wham! some pedestrian pretty much just jumps in front of my car. At this point I’ve got two options:
1) Stop to see if my victim is ok; here, I risk getting busted for drunk-driving or
2) Take off and risk getting busted for hit-and-run.

I opt for #2. Why? Think back–because the penalty for hit-and-run is less severe!

“Driving” is a translation for “Controlling thousands of pounds of steel and glass moving at high velocity amongst other fast-moving, heavy objects”. You can’t do it while trying to act like you haven’t been drinking. You can’t do it while playing (yes, playing) on your iScreen. One thing at a time, baby. Easy does it.

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