What’s Your Sports IQ?

I was recently approached by the Sports Players Association Studying The Intelligence Coefficient (SPASTIC), and they commissioned me to analyze the comparative intelligence of athletes practicing various team sports. I have completed my analysis, and the results should not be shocking to anyone who is both honest and in possession of a functioning brain.

With one being the lowest and ten being the highest, the average intelligence for the players is as follows:

American Football: 0.9
Soccer (Football): 2.3
Hockey (Ice): 2.4
Baseball: 2.6
Rugby: 5.1
Basketball: 8.9

Remember, these numbers are comparative averages. There will always be cases of a savant (generally of the idiot type), even perhaps in the NFL (still patiently researching that one), but these figures are based on true intelligence. I did not, as others, turn to standardized test scores or GPAs–nonsense, as anyone will tell you. I instead used a subtractive evaluation, measuring a lack of moronic attributes.


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