Posts Tagged ‘Journalism’

Stop Making Sense

May 26, 2014

Every once in a while, Cavebot must implore journalists to watch their words. This time has arisen once again: in the wake of another mass killing at an educational facility (need I tell you what lesson we ought to be learning?), I keep being told that Americans are trying to ‘make sense’ of the murders. What is the ‘sense’ that we hope to ‘make’ of this brutality? The problem is that logic must be reshaped if this insanity is going to have any part in it. Let me recap what has happened these past couple of centuries: violent conquest of continent, unforeseen weaponry when granting specific rights, culture of alienation and acclimation towards violence, periodic mass-killings in competitive society pitting its members against each other. There, that’s the sense we can make of it. Anything else is begging for increased double-think abilities because honesty about what is going on hurts too much.

So please, holster your weapons, try not to think about your shitty job, try not to think about the meaninglessness within the cult of individualism, and try not to think about your tiny cock.



May 9, 2014

Just because Cavebot wanders the paths of time doesn’t mean he was not born of woman and man. Cavebot has parents. They are married. They got married because they loved each other; they have stayed married because they still love each other. The marriage was entered into freely and willingly, as were the roles each plays in the marriage. The children they had were each born of love.
I have lately read about school-girls abducted by cowards. I have also read how these girls have been forced into marriage with their captors. I have read similar things about 9 year old girls being given in marriage in other places. I find this offensive. I also find it offensive that the word ‘marriage’ is used in these cases. Are we so delicate that we can read about such foul evil, but cannot call the matter by its true name? Marriage is what my parents have. What these girls are victim of, this is not marriage. This is sexual slavery, this is domestic slavery. The men who hold them, who rape them, who force their will on them, these are not husbands. They are slave masters. They disgust all humans who have souls. I ask journalists to show some courage, and do as Menander suggests–call a fig a fig. This would not be ‘losing objectivity’, nor ‘editorializing’. This would be honesty, an honesty that should be easy to come by when faced with the blatant evil of the enemies of humanity.

The State of the Strip

March 25, 2014

The American newspaper comic strip has, unfortunately, sunk into an embarrassing degradation. Can it rise again before the newspapers themselves fail and we see our democracies crumble before they ever became true?

Having my unique pan-temporal perspective, I understand as well as any of your academics that art’s evolution is linear–art isn’t “progressing” they way human knowledge does. But how did we get from Little Nemo (over a hundred years ago), Flash Gordon (over 80 years ago) and Peanuts (over 60 years ago) to Luann, Zits, and Sally Forth? It makes my one good eye cry to see the comic strips of today. I’ve been reduced to making several excursions into the past to get me some Ziggy and Barney Google & Snuffy Smith: even strips whose characters look like testicles are better than today’s fare!

Many current strips do not appear actually to be drawn by artists, but rather are issued from a wicked, retarded xerox device. The censorship so obviously being applied makes me ask the question: which authority limited the types of strips allowed? From my survey of this year 2014, it seems all strips must show:

a) the tender conflict between parents and their children;

b) the lovable orneriness of cats and the lovable dimness of dogs; or

c) the resigned subjugation of the American worker.

I can assure you that there comes a day (humor, being era-sensitive, clouds my future-sight, so I can’t say exactly when), but yes, there comes a day when it will be acknowledged that hating your mother-in-law and wanting to play golf are not jokes. There is no more humor in noticing that teenagers seem to eat a lot than in realizing your wife has gone shopping again. Stop!

Word to the newspaper editors: you are not just catering to the lowest common denominator; you are the lowest common denominator. Run good comics, sell newspapers; (continue to) run bad comics, and watch your newspapers die. Are you proud of yourselves for playing your part in the coming rise of totalitarianism?

Perry White, Pimp-in-Chief

May 31, 2007

Digging through my archives, I came across a nice little gem that reveals the real dynamic at work in modern journalism. As the old saying goes, “I’m as objective as my Corporate Masters permit”:

Pimping Lois Lane

Correction of faulty logic: the Right to a Free Press does not, on this or on any parallel world, mean that the press will be without bias. If anything, it suggests that bias will abound because the press is free to express it. This Public Service Announcement brought to you by the Society to Sabotage the Memory Hole.

The Return of Quality Journalism

April 10, 2007

Although it seems the early 21st century is a dark age for journalism, where the narrative of contemporary history is being written by meek hacks who are under the control of their capitalist masters, there is, finally, a bright spot! Starting yesterday, reporter Jim Meddick has begun to report on a fellow time-traveller, a certain Professor Xemit. I do not know this Xemit, and he appears to be using a different means of temporal displacement than my own (remember, I am dependant on no technology for my wanderings). We do however share a (temporarily) common fate: we are both stranded here, myself indefinitely, Xemit as he awaits retrieval by the “temporal relocator” (I am unfamiliar with this technology, but many eras have time-travel capability, employing quite a variety of systems). You can follow Professor Xemit’s foray into this era, via Meddick’s artist rendition of his visit, here (first installment of daily reports):

Enjoy, and remember: Tempus omnia vincit